I keep making reference to preparing me for what is
ahead. Of course, there are things that
I don’t know about, but there are also those things that have happened in the
last few months that I know God has been preparing me for by reminding me that
I have to be grounded in Him in order to have any strengthen at all to survive,
endure, and handle it all.
Being a pastor’s wife, there are a lot of ups and downs that
you face. There are definitely days that
you don’t feel like putting on a happy face and being around anyone but you
have too. You have to be ready to take on a variety of activities and projects,
even if you have never done it before and you don’t know what you are doing or
if you will have any volunteers. But,
the hardest part is when a move is needed to be made and you have to start the
process of looking for new churches and the secrets, etc that come along with
it. So, I am at this point right
now. We have had to be in this process
with the secrets, uncertainty, and scary and exciting thoughts about a new
place and adventure.
We have been in our current location for not quite 3
years. The best part of this location
has been that I have been close to my family.
Before this point, we lived far from any family, and when we had our
first child, it was very difficult.
There were also a lot of things going on that made me feel very
isolated. I knew when we were blessed
with this opportunity to be close to family, it wouldn’t be forever. But, knowing that thought and having it as a
reality are two completely different things.
As I was nearing the end of my healing process and expecting
life to return back to normal, we received the call of an interview that puts
us in another state. I have done
everything you can imagine to fight this.
Not only is it the distance, but it is in a small town, which is much
different from where we are. I have
spent many days sad about leaving family and the wonderful friendships that we
have made. But, at the same time, there
is a peace that we are following God’s lead in our lives. Of course, there are moments when I question
it.
Last week, in a Bible Study I am doing, the following verses
were part of the study:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be Anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer
and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts
and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:4-7
The study had us work through these verses in turning our
anxieties to peace. Of course, I thought
of my current situation and anticipating a change and move. Through working through those words, I was
able to redirect myself back to God’s word and at least vocalize the elements
of my worry. I am not saying that I don’t
think about it or get anxious, but I am able to pull on these verses and others
and allow myself to be grounded in it, especially as we move forward and see
what the next month or so brings! So,
change is probably imminent, anxiety is high, but God, has reminded me that I
can only do anything when I do it through Him!
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