Changing my Ways

Once I determined that I was going to be in a cast for two weeks, completely immobile, and even after that, I would still be inhibited in what I could do, it was time to figure out how the girls would be taken care of.  Paul quickly decided that he would set up an office at home and be available as much as possible.  My parents were able to come to our house or have us at their house if Paul had to be at the church for extended periods of time.  I couldn’t be left alone with the children, because I couldn’t even pick up Charlotte or do anything unless it was one handed, and not even my dominant hand. After a week or so, Paul’s mom came into town to continue the helping out process. Many, many friends brought us meals, and "babysat" the girls when needed. 

Throughout it all, I found myself still making sure that the girls’ needs were meet and didn’t ask for much for myself.  But, I kept reminding myself to not feel sorry for myself.  There were many times that I could let myself have those moments where I could feel like I can’t believe this had happened.  Don’t get me wrong, I definitely said that many times during the process, but I would at least try to laugh it off a bit.  Through it all, I had to remind myself to stay grounded in God, because on those days when my arm hurt more, or Paul was exhausted from being pulled in so many directions, or the girls just had another moment where they just didn’t understand why mommy couldn’t do the same things, it would be very easy to fall backwards, rather than moving forward in the process of healing and growing in my understanding of God’s plan for me. 

I was officially cleared by the doctor on Friday, January 20 – over three months from the day it happened.  I wore a cast.  I spent many weeks being robo-mama in my elbow hinged brace and doing exercises to help strengthen my elbow and the tendon. I went nearly 4 weeks without being able to care for my children on my own and over a month without driving.  I had great family and friends who provided meals for me and offered to do whatever I needed.  And most of all, I learned that I can’t do it all.  God has put people in my life to help me, strengthen me in times of need, and be a support where it is needed.  And this further helps in grounding this mommy and preparing me for what He has ahead of me, and I can already tell that it isn't going to be the easiest road to travel, but it will have many great benefits both short and long term.